My Testimony:
I was born into and baptised as a baby at St. Paul Lutheran Church, and went there for the first 13 years of my life. I was taught in Confirmation class that it didn't matter how or when you were baptised, as long as you were because that was the only way for the Holy Spirit to start working in your life. We didn't really have the Bible in church, and Pastor would only give one or two verses during his short sermons, then tell stories about the topic. The rest of the service was ritualistic recitements of various creeds. I was a good little church girl, and went to church and Sunday school every week and learned all my verses, went to VBS, and completed Confirmation classes a year ahead of everyone else. I was the top of my class and knew everything there was to know from the Catechism book. I was so sure that I was doing everything right, and that I was saved. I had done everything I thought I could do to please God. I knew the mechanics of being saved and knew the verses and believed in God and Jesus, I was positive I was going to Heaven. I thought 'There's no way I couldn't be saved, I've done everything right, and besides, there's no possible way that it could happen to ME; that I was going to go to hell someday.' In that church, no one sat you down and told u how to be truly saved, you just were. As long as you were baptised and took Confirmation and Communion, you were on the right track, the rest didn't matter.
Then my parents met a man from the Mennonite church (for those of you who don't know what that is, imagine Amish with only black cars and electric lights) and were invited to attend his church the following Sunday. My parents went, and the rest of us went to our church. After that, dad was very critical of the church he chose for me to grow up in. Suddenly everything that I was taught by him, the church, and my Confirmation classes was wrong. My parents stopped going to St. Paul. Aaron, my older brother, went with them. It was just Hallie, my younger sister, and I going to the Lutheran church with my neighbors. Pretty soon, a rule was made that Hallie had to go with my parents. So it was just me alone going to St. Paul. I had to go to the Mennonite church once a month, but other than that, there was a solid divide separating me from the rest of my family. It was the most painful time in my entire life. My whole family changed dramatically. You wouldn't have even recognized them...the way they looked, their personalities, even their mannerisms changed. I remember coming home from school (I was in the 7th grade) and not being able to do my homework because I was so upset or having to start over because my tears had soaked the paper. My parents wouldargue discuss whether or not I should be forced to join the Mennonite church like my younger sister, because I would not go willingly like Aaron. My mom said I was old enough to choose, my dad disagreed. Thank God my mom won. I continued to go to the Lutheran Church with my neighbors for a horrible, heart-wrenching year. It truly was the worst year of my life.
Then one night, I spent the night at my best friend, Lauren's, house one Saturday, and went to the First Baptist Church with her and her family Sunday morning. I had done that tons of times before, and nothing was different; the people were nice, Sunday school was fun, and the pastor preached. But when I went to my Lutheran church the next Sunday, everything was different, but nothing had changed. Things didn't have much meaning anymore, and the sermons were pointless. 'Jesus is my homeboy' was written on the kleenex box in the Sunday school room, there was no Bibles anywhere, and the music from the band was louder than the singing. In fact, the people were not really singing anyway, just mumbling and humming...no one truly wanted to praise God, they didn't care. It was all just routine. I realized that my church didn't change over a week of me being away, it had always been like that. It was one of the biggest shocks of my life.
After that, I was completely done with my old feel-good, people pleasing church. We made arrangements for me to be dropped off and brought home from Lauren's church every Sunday. I didn't really have anywhere else to go, I didn't want to leave God, and my parents church was the last place I wanted to be. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I could have made.
One night, after having attended the Baptist church for a few months, I was in bed trying to get to sleep when it hit me. If everything was wrong at my old church, did that mean that I wasn't really saved? I was so incredibly scared. I knew all the verses, so I looked through them and prayed. I don't know if 'hard' is the right adjective for it, but I prayed hard. I was begging God to let me know if I was truly, really saved. I needed something tangible to assure me that I was. Immediately, I was given a peace so--I can't even think of a word to describe it correctly-- that all I could do was think 'So this is what it feels like...' and I was out.
For the longest time after that, I wanted to know as much as I possibly could cram into my head about God, Jesus, and how things work. The Catechism that I had thought had all the answers and I knew so well, was suddenly nothing compared to what I didn't know. I watched, read, and listened to every kind of Biblical material I could get to. I ordered tons of material from Answers in Genesis and watched all their DVDs and was amazed at what they were telling me. There was just so much I didn't know. My mind was officially blown.
A few years or so later, I was over at Lauren's planning another sleep-over into Sunday. Randy and Joy (Lauren's parents) and I were planning the mechanics of it, how and when I would get home and whatnot. I said 'I could go home with the Stec's after your church gets out.' Randy looked at me and said 'Or, you could come back here after OUR church is out, and we'll bring you home later.' I agreed to it, but the only part that I had really heard was the 'our church' part. I hadn't really thought of ever belonging to a church again, I knew I would sometime, but I didn't know when or what church. But I realized that First Baptist was my church. I had been going for almost 2 years, I knew it better than I knew my old church, and felt way more comfortable than I ever had at any other church. But in the back of my mind, there was a voice telling me that it really wasn't my church, I wasn't a member. So I decided to get baptised.
I told my parents that I wanted to, and dad said that I didn't need to get baptised, I already had been. So I put it off. A few weeks later I was thinking about it, but then was too afraid of being in front of lots of people. So I put it off. Then baptism was talked about in church, and I wanted to again. So I went home and sent an email to Pastor Hill, but I got a failure notice and nothing would go through. So I put it off. Then in church, I heard it again; I needed to be baptised and join the church. So I came home and sat down to write this email to my pastor. My parents weren't home, and my homework was done, and I was alone. I didn't have a reason to put it off any more. I was actually going to do it. I was going to get baptised. And so I did.
Then my parents met a man from the Mennonite church (for those of you who don't know what that is, imagine Amish with only black cars and electric lights) and were invited to attend his church the following Sunday. My parents went, and the rest of us went to our church. After that, dad was very critical of the church he chose for me to grow up in. Suddenly everything that I was taught by him, the church, and my Confirmation classes was wrong. My parents stopped going to St. Paul. Aaron, my older brother, went with them. It was just Hallie, my younger sister, and I going to the Lutheran church with my neighbors. Pretty soon, a rule was made that Hallie had to go with my parents. So it was just me alone going to St. Paul. I had to go to the Mennonite church once a month, but other than that, there was a solid divide separating me from the rest of my family. It was the most painful time in my entire life. My whole family changed dramatically. You wouldn't have even recognized them...the way they looked, their personalities, even their mannerisms changed. I remember coming home from school (I was in the 7th grade) and not being able to do my homework because I was so upset or having to start over because my tears had soaked the paper. My parents would
Then one night, I spent the night at my best friend, Lauren's, house one Saturday, and went to the First Baptist Church with her and her family Sunday morning. I had done that tons of times before, and nothing was different; the people were nice, Sunday school was fun, and the pastor preached. But when I went to my Lutheran church the next Sunday, everything was different, but nothing had changed. Things didn't have much meaning anymore, and the sermons were pointless. 'Jesus is my homeboy' was written on the kleenex box in the Sunday school room, there was no Bibles anywhere, and the music from the band was louder than the singing. In fact, the people were not really singing anyway, just mumbling and humming...no one truly wanted to praise God, they didn't care. It was all just routine. I realized that my church didn't change over a week of me being away, it had always been like that. It was one of the biggest shocks of my life.
After that, I was completely done with my old feel-good, people pleasing church. We made arrangements for me to be dropped off and brought home from Lauren's church every Sunday. I didn't really have anywhere else to go, I didn't want to leave God, and my parents church was the last place I wanted to be. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I could have made.
One night, after having attended the Baptist church for a few months, I was in bed trying to get to sleep when it hit me. If everything was wrong at my old church, did that mean that I wasn't really saved? I was so incredibly scared. I knew all the verses, so I looked through them and prayed. I don't know if 'hard' is the right adjective for it, but I prayed hard. I was begging God to let me know if I was truly, really saved. I needed something tangible to assure me that I was. Immediately, I was given a peace so--I can't even think of a word to describe it correctly-- that all I could do was think 'So this is what it feels like...' and I was out.
For the longest time after that, I wanted to know as much as I possibly could cram into my head about God, Jesus, and how things work. The Catechism that I had thought had all the answers and I knew so well, was suddenly nothing compared to what I didn't know. I watched, read, and listened to every kind of Biblical material I could get to. I ordered tons of material from Answers in Genesis and watched all their DVDs and was amazed at what they were telling me. There was just so much I didn't know. My mind was officially blown.
A few years or so later, I was over at Lauren's planning another sleep-over into Sunday. Randy and Joy (Lauren's parents) and I were planning the mechanics of it, how and when I would get home and whatnot. I said 'I could go home with the Stec's after your church gets out.' Randy looked at me and said 'Or, you could come back here after OUR church is out, and we'll bring you home later.' I agreed to it, but the only part that I had really heard was the 'our church' part. I hadn't really thought of ever belonging to a church again, I knew I would sometime, but I didn't know when or what church. But I realized that First Baptist was my church. I had been going for almost 2 years, I knew it better than I knew my old church, and felt way more comfortable than I ever had at any other church. But in the back of my mind, there was a voice telling me that it really wasn't my church, I wasn't a member. So I decided to get baptised.
I told my parents that I wanted to, and dad said that I didn't need to get baptised, I already had been. So I put it off. A few weeks later I was thinking about it, but then was too afraid of being in front of lots of people. So I put it off. Then baptism was talked about in church, and I wanted to again. So I went home and sent an email to Pastor Hill, but I got a failure notice and nothing would go through. So I put it off. Then in church, I heard it again; I needed to be baptised and join the church. So I came home and sat down to write this email to my pastor. My parents weren't home, and my homework was done, and I was alone. I didn't have a reason to put it off any more. I was actually going to do it. I was going to get baptised. And so I did.
Getting baptised didn't save me, only accepting Jesus Christ as my personal Savior did that, but it filled a hole in me that for the longest time I didn't realize was empty. It gave me a church home. It gave me a place to belong.
My parents and I are still very different and see the world in very different ways. Sometimes this causes the rift between us to widen, and sometimes I don't feel like I fit in my own home. But I have my Heavenly Father and a church family that loves me. With them, I'll get along just fine :).
Now for the video :)
Lyrics:
'To be a survivor in this amazing race with a need for speed you need God's Grace; and if your desperate like housewives watching Days of Our Lives, you can't cope without hope and that's not on a soap. If your into Oprah or Dr. Phil, you can shop nonstop or pop a pill, but the void wont fill and the pain won't kill til you love the one who hung on a hill. Kickin back in your lazy boy easy chair watchin Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, nah, your not going to find it there, no American Idol or Council Tribal is the final answer that will satisfy ya.
CSI ain't got a clue, SVU don't know what to do, not the ER or the OC, nothin on a CD, TV, DVD, or MP3 can save you and me. CNN's got no good news, here's a headline: you must choose.
It's not a simple life, a piece of silk, you're treading on thin ice, living in sin. You can be an apprentice for Donald Trump, or eat Fear Factor fast food from a dump, you could be a heavy hitter or a Wheel of Fortune winner, a Fox News no spin spinner, or a flat out sinner, but you better check this life your living and make sure your sins are forgiven.
I'll bet you 50 Cent, Elvis done came and went, and eventually every Black Eyed Pea, Gwen Steffani, P-Diddy, and Britney, every wannabe on MTV with their icey bling, every Dixie Chic that sings, they are all gonna see the King of kings. I don't care if your JLo, Leno, or Bono; one thing you gotta know: some day your gonna die, bro, then where you gonna go? Hey, I'm not talking some punk junk that's irrelevant, like your grandma's church from way back when, it's not some preacher feature on TV that you need to be likeing or listening.
The real superstar is Jesus Christ, He's the way, He's the truth and the life. One day He's going to split the sky, He's the brightest Light and the Highest high. So what I came to say, what I'm telling ya is don't buy that stupid stuff they be sellin ya, it's all designed to fill your mind and waste your space until your dead. Here's the bottom line of my rhyme: Give your life to God, while there is still time.'
~Tamara Lowe
CSI ain't got a clue, SVU don't know what to do, not the ER or the OC, nothin on a CD, TV, DVD, or MP3 can save you and me. CNN's got no good news, here's a headline: you must choose.
It's not a simple life, a piece of silk, you're treading on thin ice, living in sin. You can be an apprentice for Donald Trump, or eat Fear Factor fast food from a dump, you could be a heavy hitter or a Wheel of Fortune winner, a Fox News no spin spinner, or a flat out sinner, but you better check this life your living and make sure your sins are forgiven.
I'll bet you 50 Cent, Elvis done came and went, and eventually every Black Eyed Pea, Gwen Steffani, P-Diddy, and Britney, every wannabe on MTV with their icey bling, every Dixie Chic that sings, they are all gonna see the King of kings. I don't care if your JLo, Leno, or Bono; one thing you gotta know: some day your gonna die, bro, then where you gonna go? Hey, I'm not talking some punk junk that's irrelevant, like your grandma's church from way back when, it's not some preacher feature on TV that you need to be likeing or listening.
The real superstar is Jesus Christ, He's the way, He's the truth and the life. One day He's going to split the sky, He's the brightest Light and the Highest high. So what I came to say, what I'm telling ya is don't buy that stupid stuff they be sellin ya, it's all designed to fill your mind and waste your space until your dead. Here's the bottom line of my rhyme: Give your life to God, while there is still time.'
~Tamara Lowe
God Bless :)
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